DrearyThoughts

I spent so many of those months alone, Abed with my weakened body at home. I was ill at ease, but resolute and unfaltering, For every new day, my hope was still plotting. My optimism, anticipation, and hope were aglow; I was ripe and ready, and raring to go. Though physically heavy, my soul was light; Our beginning - that horizon - was just in sight. Until one day arrived the unwelcome guest, Pounding, as always, in my tightened chest. And what I hoped was a natural progression Soon became a dire technology lesson. My hopes for normalcy promptly strangled By the grip on my arm, and the wires entangled, Like a vice, like an unyielding tentacle hand, Dragging my hope through the scorching sand. Through to the waters of torment, To the undertow of the rip current. Screaming for help, until slipping under, Drowning, as my heart beat my soul asunder. Pleas and worries, a mouthful of water, Gravid pressure, ringing ears, pain and fatigue - shock - no tears. My soul swam

Underneath the veil are scars, new and old, some faded some raw. From past and present, from now and then, open or healed, they affirm what's been. Right hand, left hand, one to each cheek, gritted teeth, a veil lift and peak. I want to shut my eyes to Truth, and veil forever this proof uncouth - All the lines of our history baring honesty, but just to me. Light and dark, black and white, endings and beginnings, my lack of foresight. You may not see them, but I do, old and new, and a fair more than few - ugly scars, so I'm just like you. Only I can see them, only you can too, but you see what you want and I see only you. Damaged, lost, bitter, cruel, you are the Queen, and I am the Fool. So I dance the dance, and I laugh the laugh, I sing the songs, and I veil my face - it's better that way, to hide the disgrace. Not for you, but more for me, as I claim who I was meant to be, until I see the scars no more, until they fade into my core, Until they are but tiny